Instead Of Waiting, Give It Yourself

If you are like most people, then you too have this strange tendency to wait for others to fill in your needs. This pattern of “waiting for others” is a bad habit, causing a lot of pain and stress in your relationships. It can even be fatal and needlessly ruin a relationship!

Reason enough to take a closer look at this habit and learn how to handle it.

At the start of a new relationship, you get everything you have been longing for, sometimes since early childhood: love, affection, tenderness, attention, excitement and energy.

You think you’ve finally found your Prince Charming (or Princess Charming) and all your needs are fulfilled forever, “They lived long and happily ever after.” You wallow in the illusion that this new excitement will last forever, and that you don’t have to do anything in order to keep receiving this stream of love and energy from your significant other.

Reality turns out differently. Not that after a while your lover loves you less, but that a big share of his attention and energy goes to his job, friends and activities he used to have before meeting you.

You panic. What’s going on? Does he not love you anymore? Did you become ugly, fat, or boring? You try to find a reason why the stream of energy coming from him is weakening. You were used to feel 300 Volt coming from him, and now you have to content yourself with a lousy 100.

You decide that you won’t let this happen and you demand he continues to give you what he gave in the beginning. You are focused on what you think you are entitled to receive, and on what the other “should” be giving you.

How strange! Why don’t you focus on what YOU can give to HIM? Why be so stubborn to maintain this bizarre belief that everything you need should be given to you by someone else? Why wait for the other to give to you what you need? Why not give it to yourself? And why not simply give to the other what YOU would like to receive for yourself?

You have nothing to lose by this approach. But I can assure you that you have a lot to gain: love, affection, tenderness, attention, excitement and energy. That’s right! Exactly the same things the other freely provided you with in the beginning!

YOU can give them to yourself, and to him. Giving is the only fail-safe way to make sure you receive.
Try to understand this. If you have to wait for somebody else to give you what you need, you can wait forever and there’s a decent risk you will never get it.

If you give what you need to yourself and to the other, then you have it both ways: once because you gave it to yourself, and once because you will get back from the other what you gave him. You can have your pie and eat it!

Why does it work this way? Because by giving something, you are tuning yourself to the frequency of that which you give. Let’s say, for example, you need attention. Instead of examining the behavior, facial and verbal expressions of your partner, trying to detect whether he gives you enough attention, you can give attention to him! Ask him how he is feeling right now, how his day went, what he learned today, and if he met any interesting people. Show your genuine interest, and I bet he will be interested in you too. You give attention, and you will get attention in return!

You want love? Give love! You want advice? Give advice! You need an energy boost? Boost up someone else’s energy level and in doing so you will feel your own energy rising! You want people to listen to you? Then first listen carefully to someone else who needs to be heard. You want more friends? Then befriend others! You want more respect from your children? Respect them!

So, in order to get what you want, learn to give it first.

Instead of waiting for your significant other to give you love, why don’t you give love to him or her?
Instead of waiting for your children to respect you, why don’t you start by respecting them? Be an example.
Instead of dreaming of a wonderful job that satisfies your needs, try to be wonderful at your current job first!
Instead of wanting your friends to invest time and energy in your relationship, why don’t you give some extra time and energy to them?
Instead of waiting for peace and calm to come into your life, why don’t you create the silence and inner balance needed to feel the peace you long for?

It’s all a matter of energy vibrating. By giving what you want to others, you are tuning in to the vibrational energy of what it is you want. If you want love and you give it to others, you are in the energy of love already. Giving love makes you feel that love and thus you then attract more love into your life. Giving attention makes you feel the attention. Giving respect puts you in the energy vibration of respect and you will attract more respect towards yourself.

This works for anything you desire. You will not only get what you want by giving it, but you will also be much less dependent on others. You will feel the power of being in charge of your own life!

Bring Love Into Your Life

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.
The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.
Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thieves, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.
On the ground floor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, ground floor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the ground floor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.
So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.

So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!