Charm is that intangible quality within you, that when uncovered and freed from suffocating baggage, can add a subtle power to your presence that is irresistibly pleasing. The influence of this charm will attract, calm, assuage, placate and delight anyone with whom you come into contact. The ability to win over and influence people is in direct proportion to the charm you are able to summon up and demonstrate.
Charm can be developed like every other quality or attribute of the mind by adopting and practicing some basic rules. Adaptation, the art of agreeing with another person for the sake of amicability is lesson one. Finding common ground through genuine curiosity lowers defenses and paves the way for further exploration. Adaptation is an acknowledgment of another’s ‘right to be’ right or wrong. As Voltaire said, "I do not agree with a word you say but I shall defend to the death your right to say it." The goal is to charm not to reform.
The primary rule is for you to be yourself. Any kind of physical makeover, including that phoney smile, won’t do the trick. Affectations and pretense, even a well rehearsed choreography, is swift and certain death to charm. It is easy enough to attract and get attention by artifice, but to influence anyone beyond surface pleasantries, you must possess the power of charm within. A smile may win a first look, but it takes the conscious power of charm to obtain results. Authenticity is genuine and indisputable, easily picked up by others as the real thing, where pretense is usually unmasked.
By practicing the techniques of charm from within, you can put your prospect or antagonist at ease and even inspire them to do your bidding. Projecting charm requires give and take. The first technique is to listen. You must be an attentive listener interested in hearing what the other person has to say, which also means paying close attention and really comprehending what they have to say and where they are coming from in saying it.
The second fundamental is to always be humble, gentle and polite. By adopting these traits you will project a gracious and friendly manner which communicates the attitude that you are both likeable and approachable. Treat all people that you meet as potential friends. By displaying an open and positive attitude, and making others feel that your own life was incomplete before having met them, empowers them, and in turn they will become endeared to you. Interest, kindness, and humbleness are a major part of being charming. Giving praise is another.
Praise is like a rare gemstone which derives its worth from its scarcity. Praise is one of the greatest motivating forces there is, and when sincerely applied can work wonders. Praise a dog and he is your friend. Praise children and they will glow with joy. Praise your ability with gratitude and you increase the flow of intelligence into your endeavors. Positive praise feelingly applied is an active multiplier. Praise what you have and more will be available to you. Praise is a positive expression of appreciation. In the case of others, it gives hearty and warm approval and breaks down barriers. If anyone you meet deserves your approbation, by all means give it, and in so doing you enhance their appreciation of your own qualities, a win win situation powered by charm.
The third element of charm is tolerance. Life is a compromise, and to realize and accept this adds to ones peace of mind and enjoyment. People are entitled to their own opinion, and possessing tolerance allows respect for diverse opinions, without necessarily believing or sharing them. Respect for another’s point of view will always enlarge your own world view. By exercising tolerance you dispel prejudice and vanity. It is the essential quality necessary to establish the true relationship between divergent situations on an impersonal basis. By becoming tolerant you learn not to take the world and the events and people in it too seriously, yourself included, thus enabling your sense of humor to expand. A true and easy smile and the ability to have a good laugh will relax you, and in so doing, aid you in peace of mind and efficiency. Tolerance and a good sense of humor are indeed additional gems to have in your crown of charm.
Charm is the art of pleasing. You need to be poised along with possessing the ability to act natural. Your ability to be pleasingly spontaneous and to act natural is a reflection of your habits. If these habits have been formed through the proper training of grace, poise and cleanliness, then they add to your charm. Negative habits of sloth, crudeness and loutishness diminishes. Charm refines the essence of your personality and permits the radiant beauty of your real being to shine through. Possessing charm will greatly augment your effectiveness. It makes it possible for you to always present yourself in the most favorable light. Through the glow of charm you will feel healthier and those worry lines will soon be replaced by your infectious smile. So train and equip yourself in the art and power of charm. It will enrich your presence and add immeasurably to your personal satisfaction and happiness.
